You never know what the future holds, good or bad. And I'm not saying not to be hopeful or positive. I guess what I'm saying, is to not be so certain of things you cannot control.
As many of you know, I lost a relationship that was, at one point, very important to me. Now, in retrospect, I realize it was an unhealthy relationship and it was a dead-end one. But no one could have told me that at that time. I was in love and I had faith in that love. Some detrimental things happened along that path of love and faith, and I am facing a rough road ahead. But, in all honesty, I have a different kind of faith now and I believe that what happened was written, just not by me. I believe it happened for a reason. And even as bad as things are and even though I have a battle ahead, I believe it was an important, pivotal moment in my life.
"It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters." ~Epictetus
No one can predict, change, or control what happens to us. But we are in control of how we react to the situation, and we can make the change we want to see for the future. That change starts with a single question: What have I learned from this situation?
I have learned you cannot make someone love you. I have learned that if someone wants to leave, you have to let go and let them leave. I have learned that self-control and self-restraint is very important when dealing with stress and loss. I have learned that I don't need someone just to have someone. I have learned that I am okay being alone. I have learned that my children are the most important people in my life and that even if they are all I have, then I have accomplished so much in this short life. I have learned to love myself again. I have learned to forgive myself. I have learned that God is always there for you if you allow him to be. I have learned to reach out to others for comfort. I have learned that I don't have to carry all the burden and that there is a relief in real faith. I have learned that it doesn't matter what other people think but what you think of yourself at the end of the day. And if your self-opinion is low, you need to do something about it. I have learned I am not responsible for others' actions, but I am responsible for mine and need to take accountability. I have learned it's not so hard to say goodbye to someone that doesn't even miss you. I have learned that love isn't enough sometimes. Lastly, I have learned that when a relationship dies, you are not to revive it from the dead. Just as someone passes, you have to let them go. You have to say goodbye. You have to walk away and leave them behind regardless of how badly you want them to stay.
If you think about what you have learned, you realize it wasn't a waste of time. It wasn't a mistake. It wasn't a complete loss.
“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
The next step is moving on.
Moving on for me is leaving the past in the past. Moving on is focusing on what I can control. Moving on is realizing what changes I need to make to be the best woman, mother, daughter, sister and friend I can be. Moving on is learning to love myself again, learning to respect myself again. Moving on is letting go of all the hurt, anger, and resentment the past has burdened me with. Moving on is having faith in HIM and his WORD. Moving on means mending old relationships, strengthening current ones, and creating new ones. Moving on means forgiving myself. Moving on means forgiving others. Moving on means getting to know myself again. Moving on means facing life alone again. Moving on means embracing the change and learning from it. Moving on means changing the person I was, and being the person I have always wanted to be. Lastly, moving on means saying goodbye to those who were not meant to be in your story forever, to accept that while they were there for a few chapters, your story's conclusion is still open to endless possibilities.
"Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
The story of your life is not meant to be prewritten. It is written from one moment to the other and there is no way of knowing what that next line, next paragraph, or next chapter might hold. You have to accept that and relinquish control. You have to have FAITH. And you have to know that even in the darkest hours, your story is not yet over.
Never stop believing that there is an amazing turn in your story...I know I haven't. What I've learned is...if you stay stuck on the same page, and you can't comprehend the text you are reading...you'll never get to experience the rest of the book...and that's simply not how I want to live anymore.
